Prepping for immigration.
Years of discussions.
14 months applying for partner visa.
Daughter becoming dual citizen.
Mentally preparing ourselves.
Getting rid of things.
Keeping eyes on job market.
Prepping for shipping.
Saying goodbye to fur family.
Gathering information and records.
Setting money aside.
Downsizing going into overdrive.
Giving things away.
Mentally preparing toddler, as best one can.
Giving things away.
Excited sadness packing.
Leaving things behind.
Away we go, again.
Norwegian Airline awesomeness.
Boston is expensive.
Kansas City.. where is everyone… OH! Here they are!
So. Here we are. Three weeks and some change into living in a multi-generational home. It doesn’t quite feel like ours, but it feels warm and familiar. Everything is an adjustment - getting used to hugging people so often again. Driving again. Dating my husband again. Keeping to a routine for Peaches. Explaining just why we cannot pop over to her buddy’s homes anymore - but hey look at all your cousins! Spending time with my Grandma again. Lovely adjustments.
The job hunt continues, another adjustment. We were both so used to the fast paced London, where you apply and hear back almost immediately. I am trying not to panic apply, just take some deep breaths and cast my services net into the world. Something will come along, because I am not going to stop until it does!
Mom and Dad have their own bedroom again.
Opened bank accounts.
Renewed Driver's License.
Playdates for Peaches.
Date nights for Mom and Dad.
Ikea shopping U.S. style.
Going through boxed possessions.
Currently we’re almost completely reliant on my parents - which we hate BUT are accepting any help people want to give us. That is one thing that has changed in the years, accepting help. Because I cannot do everything on my own. No one can. We need each other. (This is what I keep telling myself! Adjustment!)
I am very glad to be home.
London, a love story
A tourist, pictures and places, passing through with excitable awe,
Promising to return for a longer stay, head and a heart full of future.
Seeking prospects, property, aspirations but ignoring lovelife all around.
A student, scary intrigues leading to even more fearful examination,
Questions answered by waves of further inquiries, my tribe member found.
Ignoring prospects, property, aspirations and seeking lovelife all around.
An immigrant, waiting for approval, that can only be found from a hug,
Daydreams distract from the desperation, a friendly family formed.
Low prospects, lovely property, high aspirations, ugly lovelife by the sea.
An assistant, commuting underground, fighting grabby hands and leers,
To find dramatics both in work and play, Olympic Jubilations embraced.
High prospects, ugly property, low pay, lovely lovelife in the city.
A girlfriend, leaps to the suburbs and into self employment hoping to find a net,
Commuting, compromising, charging ahead, creating a home together.
Low rent, freelancing pay and exploring everything London has to offer.
A wife, seeking a persistent living to charge career ahead but sexism governs,
Travelling, compromising, struggling yet deciding to create a life together.
High rent, underpaid employment and exploring everything online about babies.
A mother, scared, breaking, struggling every second and searching for relief,
Frightening forces of love fling me through isolation, learning what true strength is.
Seeking futures for two, domestic servitude and anxious explorations in parenthood.
A house parent, nervous enthusiasm met with continual resistance and struggles,
Full on schedules chain me to six more lives, challenging everything I thought I knew.
Seeking futures for the masses, educational servitude and expanded views in parenthood
The feelings have returned.
Baby fever. Cooing, awe-ing and feeling a need to hold every baby I see. The newness. The potential. The bundle of messy, sleep depriving, love. Biology and this crazy human nature of wanting to continue the brood.
Before the school closed for the holidays, a trio of staff members came up to our corridor to do some works. When I opened our door I squealed as my eyes were immediately drawn to the few month old child one of them held (his own, do not worry). Thankfully he let me hold the little booger. So tiny. Still new to the world. Oh who will that little person be?
Peaches was not cool with it. But this is not about her, and Mama needed her baby fix.
I feel like everyone is suddenly getting pregnant, having more babies, trying for children and my envy of that is well hidden.This is all normal lady problems, phases, or passing fancies. Hormones, am I right?!
“I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes. Babies are all around me, and so the feeling grows…”
Until last night when the shit felt very real.
We are sitting on the couch Christmas night, snuggled together watching the “Dr. Who” special feeling the warm glow of ( I AM SITTING AND WATCHING DOCTOR WHO WITH SOMEONE I MADE) being a family. Yet in this almost perfect moment I simultaneously felt a loss.
The missing of some future unknown as yet being.
When are they? Who are they?
I don’t know what the future holds. So I am just thinking about them for now.
Not an instructional blog but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - so help me Mom.