“Settling in, again. Not really settling but a bit of starting over again. Startling in sounds better. We are startling in just fine, thank you.”
That is all that I have written in regards to Dummie Diaries since my last post. I thought that moving ‘back home’ would provide me with more time to write. I also thought that my husband would be able to continue his career trajectory. I thought about a lot of things preparing for the move over.
Just not my health.
In the year running up to the move I was hit hard numerous times with illnesses - I chalked it up to living inside a school, stress, whatever it took to rationalise my continued momentum ‘forward’. Just kept going. Moving to the end line of our move date.
Because once we made it there - all our current problems would vanish. Right?
Oh, how naive. I know. But I had to tell myself something. Once we were here - we hit the ground running hard. With every day, our savings dwindled and our desperation to replenish it grew.
I now had more time, but it was all to set us in motion for the starting over section in our life.
I wanted my husband to transition well to his surroundings. I wanted my daughter to embrace her family. I wanted desperately to make up for lost time. In all of this newness I did not take the time to notice how I was still getting ill. May be not virus, or cyst or infection… possibly not. But the dementors in my life, migraines, began creeping over me more and more. Draining me. Stilling moments.
It wasn't until taking on a full time position working with children that I was able to take notice.
In one month of employment I have missed a minimum of 1 day each week. This week is the game changer. It is making me take a step backwards and take a look at my health. I cannot continue on as is. I have to make drastic changes. I have to admit to myself that I am not ready for full time employment.
I cannot be the best employee I can be when stricken with these debilitating pains.
So. One month into employment - and one month away from receiving health insurance - I must take leave. I need to get my health back.
Prepping for immigration.
Years of discussions.
14 months applying for partner visa.
Daughter becoming dual citizen.
Mentally preparing ourselves.
Getting rid of things.
Keeping eyes on job market.
Prepping for shipping.
Saying goodbye to fur family.
Gathering information and records.
Setting money aside.
Downsizing going into overdrive.
Giving things away.
Mentally preparing toddler, as best one can.
Giving things away.
Excited sadness packing.
Leaving things behind.
Away we go, again.
Norwegian Airline awesomeness.
Boston is expensive.
Kansas City.. where is everyone… OH! Here they are!
So. Here we are. Three weeks and some change into living in a multi-generational home. It doesn’t quite feel like ours, but it feels warm and familiar. Everything is an adjustment - getting used to hugging people so often again. Driving again. Dating my husband again. Keeping to a routine for Peaches. Explaining just why we cannot pop over to her buddy’s homes anymore - but hey look at all your cousins! Spending time with my Grandma again. Lovely adjustments.
The job hunt continues, another adjustment. We were both so used to the fast paced London, where you apply and hear back almost immediately. I am trying not to panic apply, just take some deep breaths and cast my services net into the world. Something will come along, because I am not going to stop until it does!
Mom and Dad have their own bedroom again.
Opened bank accounts.
Renewed Driver's License.
Playdates for Peaches.
Date nights for Mom and Dad.
Ikea shopping U.S. style.
Going through boxed possessions.
Currently we’re almost completely reliant on my parents - which we hate BUT are accepting any help people want to give us. That is one thing that has changed in the years, accepting help. Because I cannot do everything on my own. No one can. We need each other. (This is what I keep telling myself! Adjustment!)
I am very glad to be home.
London, a love story
A tourist, pictures and places, passing through with excitable awe,
Promising to return for a longer stay, head and a heart full of future.
Seeking prospects, property, aspirations but ignoring lovelife all around.
A student, scary intrigues leading to even more fearful examination,
Questions answered by waves of further inquiries, my tribe member found.
Ignoring prospects, property, aspirations and seeking lovelife all around.
An immigrant, waiting for approval, that can only be found from a hug,
Daydreams distract from the desperation, a friendly family formed.
Low prospects, lovely property, high aspirations, ugly lovelife by the sea.
An assistant, commuting underground, fighting grabby hands and leers,
To find dramatics both in work and play, Olympic Jubilations embraced.
High prospects, ugly property, low pay, lovely lovelife in the city.
A girlfriend, leaps to the suburbs and into self employment hoping to find a net,
Commuting, compromising, charging ahead, creating a home together.
Low rent, freelancing pay and exploring everything London has to offer.
A wife, seeking a persistent living to charge career ahead but sexism governs,
Travelling, compromising, struggling yet deciding to create a life together.
High rent, underpaid employment and exploring everything online about babies.
A mother, scared, breaking, struggling every second and searching for relief,
Frightening forces of love fling me through isolation, learning what true strength is.
Seeking futures for two, domestic servitude and anxious explorations in parenthood.
A house parent, nervous enthusiasm met with continual resistance and struggles,
Full on schedules chain me to six more lives, challenging everything I thought I knew.
Seeking futures for the masses, educational servitude and expanded views in parenthood
Not an instructional blog but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - so help me Mom.