Sun’s out, fun’s out!* Is that a saying? It must be the sunny weather or that Peaches is now a toddler, but we are having better social luck at the playground and library. More conversations and interactions make both Mama and Kiddo happy!
I still get into this hermit mode of “hissss, leave me alone with my angsty thoughts” - don’t get me wrong. But I am really enjoying the parent conversations at the moment. No longer is anyone asking me if I do this or that for my baby, if I work or why I haven't returned to work.
Finally people are owning up to not knowing what hell they are doing, how exhausted they are and tips on kid friendly places to go. For first time parents the veil of “things are going to get easier” finally is lifting. We all realise, what second+ time parents already knew, that the parenting does not get easier. Nope. It just changes a little with each step in the child’s development.
So we gather with our wee ones in the communal spaces of libraries and playgrounds. For the bleary eyed parents these spaces have become a safe place to share the ups, downs and struggles of parenting. Kind of like a confessional but for dishing out embarrassing moments about themselves, their partners or their offspring.
Here are some anonymous examples:
“We were staying with my partner’s mother after the birth of our child. One morning during a feed a packaged arrived. As everyone was out of the house, I quickly buttoned up my nightgown and answered the door. To my horror the door slammed behind me. I had no keys, no phone, knew no one and had no idea how long his mother would be out. Somehow the police arrived and I was able to direct them how to get to my partner’s sibling - who had spare keys. After 25 minutes (which felt like hours) I was back inside the house to find my five week old babe still asleep safely in her cot.”
“My elder child was born with a heart condition. My younger child was born with a hole in their belly. I have recently been focusing on my younger child after their latest surgery. I am very afraid that in giving the younger one so much attention, I will miss something in my elder child that could be fatal.”
“We were at the mall during a prime holiday shopping day, took my young child into the toilets with me when they loudly asked me ‘mummy, what’s that hairy thing?’. Needless to say, you could hear the echoing snickers down the adjoining cubicles.”
We all have fear.
We all have shame.
We all have earth shattering love for our children.
These things never change.
But talking to others about the crazy journey eases our troubles.
If even just oh so briefly.
*I started writing this during a string of good weather, but am very aware while posting this it has been raining for days. England! You trickster, you!!
Not an instructional blog but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - so help me Mom.