We go merrily along developing a "we" and enjoying the "us" in these married or partnered lives. At a point in the relationship it is discussed whether to redirect your shared love/attentions into a joint being. In reality the conversation should go something like this :
"Hey hun, should we refocus our love-time-sleep-and-earnings on the most selfish human ever to have crossed our paths? You know, destroy the only way of life we know and start a completely new one that challenges us in ways we have yet to comprehend? Forcing us to look harder at our own flaws and trying desperately to hide them but eventually having them bloom within these creatures thus increasing our guilt quotient?
Or should we get a dog?"
We choose to have a family and are gob smacked just how much our lives change. We sleep less, bicker more and at times consider a one way ticket to the bahamas.
And then this kid smiles. Or laughs.
It hits you.
A tsunami of love drowns all that bitterness-tiredness for a shared wonderful moment in time. This new life on a new branch of your family tree feels perfect.
As a wise woman reminded me, during the not so perfect times you have to remember to "water your tree" and keep developing that "us".
Not an instructional blog but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - so help me Mom.