Maternity Leave has begun! Now I can relax, right?
Right?! Oh wait, I’m about to become someone’s mother. I swear I was just sitting on my parent’s couch watching Nickelodeon and munchin’ on Cheetos just last week. And hey - what’s this? I’m going to be in charge of maintaining another being’s life? Say - whaaaaaaaat. But we will do our best and hey, let’s work through this list of “TO DOs” and wow we zoomed right through that. Annnnnnd now I am bored. So, baby you might as well come out already. Ooo. Was that a contract- ooooooo, breath, this too shall pass. Oh, oh, oh, I am not ready, not ready baby, you can just chillax… and it has passed. Well, nothing is happening today so let’s re-read the Harry Potter series to distract ourselves from time trickling away. Falls asleep. Let’s take a walk around the neighbourhood to get the juices flowing again. This is such a good place to raise a kid - only two more windows were broken overnight & there is two teenagers fishing from the coy pond. Those neighbourhood scamps! Back home! Did you miss me Professor Whiskers? Cat, stop staring at my stomach it makes me uncomfortable. Did this baby just a crapload of weight in the night - don’t pee yourself, don’t pee yourself and touchdown! Four hours until the man comes home better think of something to make for dinner. Pinteresting turns into youtube watching and crap! “Honey I’m home!” I feel like I am in “Groundhog Day” as this happens in some order, everyday. I know I should be enjoying it. But I am not. I am a people person to some extent, and I feel bad for our post man who I make talk to me a little longer than he likes but is too polite to tell me so.
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Not an instructional blog but the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - so help me Mom.
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